But I digress. In the If you... books, there's this crazy whirlwind of activity that always ends up back where it started - actually kind of a great example of syllogisms for high school geometry. I don't particularly like these somewhat formulaic books, especially because I feel the marketing press behind them once the first has been successful. That said, here goes my own version....
If you take an blogger to Nashville, she will ask to go to Parnassus Books.
If you take her to Parnassus Books, she will want to be first through the little door built into the wall to get into the children's section.
If she is the first through the little door, she will want to listen to the story time that is about to start.
If she listens to story time, she will realize the reader is local author Rosalyn Rikel Ramage and will want to meet her.
If she meets Rosalyn Rikel Ramage, she will learn she writes about Western KY (where the blogger's mama and nanny are from) and will pick up all three of her books for middle grades readers: The Tracks, The Graveyard, and The Windmill.
If she picks up all three books, she will want to keep looking around.
If she keeps looking around, her kids will hear another story time (from another local children's author).
If her kids hear another story time, she will keep looking around.
If she keeps looking around, her kids will hear ANOTHER story time - this time from local author Kristin O'Donnell Tubb.
If the blogger's kids hang out with Kristin Tubb (and her cool kids), she will want to meet them all, and they will laugh and make noise and recommend books to each other.
If she meets Kristin Tubb, she will learn about her books The 13th Sign, and Selling Hope, and Autumn Winifred Oliver Does Things Different and want to buy one.
If she buys Selling Hope, she will read it and love it and start working on a summer school lesson around it (look for it later this summer).
If she loves it, she will remember just why independent booksellers are so unique and fun and vital to a community and to herself as a reader.
If she remembers all these things, she will come home and cancel her Amazon Prime subscription.
If she cancels her Prime subscription, she's will want to buy all her books at Parnassus.
If she wants to buy her books at Parnassus, she will ask to go to Nashville.
That's it. Actually kind of similar to a pig at a party or a mouse with a cookie. I'll have a full review of Selling Hope up later this week, and maybe we can even talk Kristin Tubb into a brief interview.....