My Thoughts, They Are a Grab Bag of Hodgepodgedness

Point the first: My grandfather (who is a grouchy, amazing, 90-something, blind amputee with periodic dementia) is declining. Perhaps I should say he is dying. I'm not sure because I know how strong he is, and I know these things can take awhile even when they seem imminent.  I'm not sad yet, and maybe I won't ever be. He is so tired, y'all. Just tired. But he's surrounded by such a great cloud of love, especially when most of the family gathers at my parents' farm (where my grandparents live with my folks) like we did last night for an early Thanksgiving. My sister and I sat beside him, she holding his hand, while we sang "Amazing Grace" together. No reason for it; just to sing. The night before, our kids sat with him and my Nanny (who has Cancer, is trying a treatment, and who we are trying - unsuccessfully - not to worry about) on the couch and watched Wheel of Fortune together.  Thankful doesn't begin to cover it.

Question the first: Do you go in and out of cycles with social media? Not to be lighthearted about a serious condition, but I have rather a binge-and-purge approach, it would seem, and I'm definitely in a binge cycle right now.

Point the second: My children have watched more television and movies since starting public school this fall than they have their whole lives to this point. I am.....dealing with it. Barely.

Question the second: Do you also find yourself screaming with rage when you watch this?
This is so clearly evidence of living in a man's world, and I can't believe they released this commercial in 2012. My thumb - and probably many women's thumbs - do not go from "here" to "here." In fact, if I ever succumb to the iPhone Siren, I will likely get the older version, and it won't be because of the terrible maps. Why will they not believe us when we tell them size ain't everything?

Point the third: I like long showers. I don't like to be inefficient with water. However, I believe it is okay to take long showers because I only shower every couple of days. I mean, I might stink a little, but I'm saving the planet with my stink.

Question the fourth: Why am I so scattered with my reading right now? I have started and not finished five different books lately. It is not a case of getting started and deciding to abandon a book for good; instead, I just can't seem to sustain my attention long enough to get fully entrenched in one. The books I have in process at the moment: Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck, Tinkers by Paul Harding, Hot, Flat, and Crowded by Thomas Friedman, That Used to be Us by Thomas Friedman and Michael Mandelbaum, and The Maze Runner by James Dashner. The Dashner was looking promising until I had to reread chapters 2 and 3 several times because they just weren't making sense. At all. Finally, I realized the library copy had been misprinted and was missing pages 9-13. That may seem like a small concern, but it seems to have been the exact location of crucial explication. I wonder how many kids have read this book without realizing the pages were missing.

Point the fourth: My sister and her family are on their way to DisneyWorld as I type this. They receive some major discount (think mostly free) on admission through her husband's job, and they have access to a free timeshare for their hotel. She is still concerned about how much they are likely to spend. I understand many people will disagree with me (and please feel free to make your arguments known), but let me just be clear: I'd pretty much rather eat my own fingers than go to DisneyWorld. I can think of so many things I'd rather spend our money on.  So. Many. Things.

Question the fifth and final: Should I request a Kindle for Christmas?  My husband has one, and I like reading on it.  I'd like to try the new Paperwhite version.  Anyone have it and have some comments?  What about getting digital books from the library?  Easy?  But it can't be as much fun as coming home with a stack of new books you didn't pay for.  Can it?


  1. Point 1: I think sadness would almost be the incorrect emotion here, so I applaud you for saying you might not be. Papa is so strong, but scared! I look forward to his rest. Nanny, ironically isn't scared and I have loved watch the amazing strong woman that she is.

    ?1: I think your social media life is much like your social life at times. You care for all immensely, but depending on your season, some are more relevant than others. Love when you binge on me.

    Point 2: TV at school is a little bizarre to me. If you need to fill time...let them have free, constructive play. It just seems unnecessary.

    ?2: I am beginning to loathe the entire 'necessity' of the smart phone. I truly think it its making us less intelligent as a whole. Thus, the commercial is simply appealing to the lethargy of the end users brain. Can't fault them for knowing their audience. I say stay with the dumb phone...save the brain!

    Point 3: I say good for you. Save the planet one whore bath at a time.


    ?4: I think you should give yourself license to feel emotionally full. Although there is gear resolution in death, it is still an emotion that is pre-occupying. Our brains and our hearts don't necessarily process this emotion the same. Once the frantic, scattered feeling leaves and you find yourself at the end of 5 books at the same time, you will dust off your concerns and say, 'yeah, I still rock'

    Point 4: I laughed as we drive thinking about who I thought I was going to be and who I am turning into. A person who buys a new construction in a tight little neighborhood, leases a car, enjoys renting....a lot, loves watching moves with my family, and looks forward to going to Disney World. I, too can think of a serious amount of things I could spend even the little bit of money on, but I am embracing the NEW experiences that is shaping the Sudan that you love. Making memories, and truly wishing you were here! At least we could scoff at the ridiculousness that is Disney while we watch the kids salivate unwittingly, while sharing dinner and a laugh. Smh. Lol. Omg...and why the face!

    ?5: you can have my kindle fire...I love you.

    1. Thanks for . . . well a lot. For pointing out that I skipped question three. For affirming my stinkiness. For encouraging me. For offering your kindle. For being my best friend. I know. Lots of sister love here. Deal with it. I do appreciate the kindle offer; I think I want the traditional reader (the screen is easier on the eyes), but I will definitely consider your sweet offer. Enjoy the whole Disney experience! I know you will LOVE sharing the fun with your boys - all three of them.

  2. *real emotion
    **as we drove
    ***are shaping the Susan

    Smh for realz....