10.07.2012

The Sunday Salon: Blog Life vs "Real" Life

I started this post wishing I were Yiddish.  I wanted to open with an Oy vey! and to list the various responsibilities and lifestuffs that have kept me from blogging this week.  And then I realized, yiddish or not, that we all have those weeks.  I wondered just how many blog posts have begun with a similar cry of fatigue or exhaustion or even an apology.  How many of us feel guilty when "real life" keeps us from blogging? How many of us feel we should be able to do all things at all times and to apologize when we don't?

I propose we stop apologizing.  Sure, we all have busy weeks.  We all have kids or jobs or even pets that have needs, sometimes more than others, and we (or at least I) tend to think of our blogs as somehow "extra."  Now, I'm not arguing that we should prioritize our blogs over our children or spouses; however, I do think we should do away with the distinction between "blog life" and "real life."  Writing a blog is a part of who I am, just as being a wife, a mother, a homeowner, and a teacher are pieces of me.  

A lot of people talk about the work-life balance, as though work is somehow not part of life, as though there is some ideal spot, and once we find it, we can just stay there.  But in reality, balance is not about being static; it's about constantly making small adjustments to maintain that balance.  Sometimes, depending on what you're carrying, balance means tilting more one way than another.  Sometimes, balance means setting some stuff down for a time just to keep walking.  Balance means lowering your head sometimes and raising it at others.  

For me, balance means forgoing nutritional homemade lunches and letting the kids have an extra corndog-laden school lunch.  It means working on the day I had scheduled off to be my with my in-laws and not-working the next morning to just sit and talk to my husband for over an hour.  It means cleaning the bathroom but not mopping the kitchen floor.  About letting go of getting the fridge cleaned this week and abandoning a book that wasn't bad but just wasn't great.  And about not apologizing for any of those small, necessary adjustments.  

So, yes, I've been AWOL this week here; however, I realize now it wasn't a week.  It was just a week.  It is just life.  And I'm not going to apologize for that.  What do you think?  How do you feel about the balance in your life?

PS: Am I allowed to just put Sunday Salon on a thoughtful Sunday post?  Or is there some secret club initiation I should have participated in first?  Please correct me if I have overstepped my bounds!

4 comments:

  1. I couldn't agree more with this. I've learned to accept that I simply can't do everything, and there are weeks where one aspect of my life (or my self) needs more attention than another part. This past week has been more focused on my physical health, leaving me less time to read or blog, and that's fine. In a different week, I might really need the outlet I get through blogging and will allow myself to have that and let mopping the kitchen floor go. Once I get beyond the must-dos (going to work, feeding the cat), I give myself flexibility for the other stuff.

    As for Sunday Salon, there used to be a website and feed to sign up on, but now there's just a Facebook page. It's evolved into something pretty free form, and what you've done fits that fine, I think.

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    1. YES! Thanks for the feedback, Teresa, and for the guidance on The Sunday Salon situation. I must admit to still feeling a little "wrong" for sticking it on there, but the label seemed to suit the material.

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  2. I think there used to be a Sunday Salon invite. I'm not sure, but they were closed to new participants when I looked into it, but that was maybe 1-2 years ago.

    I agree, we should stop apologizing for being absent from the blogs.

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    1. Thanks for the info, Serena. Since I wrote this, I've continued to mull it over and it's gotten more nuanced in my head. I mean, I do think it is appropriate to let friends know (and y'all are sort of like friends!) if you're not going to return phone calls for a time. But there is definitely a grey area there. The bigger point I've taken away from this is just to not see the blog as somehow separate from life.

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